Driving You Crazy

I hear it, I say it: _______ drives me crazy. I suspect if offered that fill-in-the-blank, you could rattle off any number of suspects, or perhaps a particular candidate is now or was recently up your nose. Computers, phones, elected officials, service or lack thereof, children, parents, friends, neighbors—sometimes trivial, sometimes not.

Unfortunately, what really drives me crazy is allowing externals to drive me crazy. Yep, the conclusion is obvious, I make myself crazy. Great.

New mantra—okay, not so new—folks are going to do what folks are going to do. This guidepost is not so simple because expectations are a necessary part of the social compact. We need to know others will perform, will deliver as needed, and yet often, we will be disappointed when our expectations are not met.

Now I am wary of advocating an expect-nothing, never-disappointed outlook. And expectations do shape behavior, for good or ill to be sure.

Perhaps, as I have seen many times, the balance to strike is akin to the parenting process that leads to the moment when a child does the expected unexpectedly. You may have seen that knowing look between parents. Or wildly exuberant high-fives.

The slack we cut, based on understanding the child’s moment in time, may seem unnecessary when counting on adults to be, uh, adults. Don’t count on it. Besides, more significantly, the world bending to your worldview is a fantastical longshot.

You want someone to say X, or you want someone to think X, or you want someone to do X—sure, that’s fine, but know that’s not how it’s going to go a fair amount of the time.

X driving you crazy? Do yourself a favor and keep your own hands on your crazy wheel.

Let me wrap up with a little lagniappe for a certain generation. Sing the title of this post to the song “Having My Baby”. You’re welcome. Have a good day.