Thursday, June 7, 2018

Where the Greenbacks Roam


Read anything? Yep, pretty much. Books, of course. Magazines? Yep. Ad copy, too. And catalogues. For gadgets, seeds, tools, fruit trees, or sailboat parts. Or stuff you think you need asap, or stuff you don’t need now and maybe never will. And stuff that is just stuff.

The last issue of National Geographic came with a companion volume, dedicated to the impact of plastic on our little water and dirt world spinning about. Illuminating, fascinating, and for me, a wallop of depressing. Note to self: Check the lake more often for plastic debris.

But this post is not about the special National Geographic edition.

The week after that plunge into the plastic morass that is our contemporary culture, a catalogue new to me came in the mail, whatever works for home, garden, and pest control.

Savor the title for a moment.

Okay, I’m scanning—or skimming, never too sure, but I know I do both—and there on page 4 the two items are, one in the left column and one in the right, nearly aligned to each other.

On the left (too good to be true), Item B, which is a package of 6 stainless-steel straws. To wit: “Don’t waste money on throwaway plastic or paper straws. These are environmentally friendly, BPA- and lead-free, and will last through years of use.”

Wow! Environmentally woke and dishwasher safe for $14.99.

On the right (no need to bother with making up stuff), Item E, a Coca-Cola Straw Dispenser: “Made of embossed tin and featuring the classic Coca-Cola logo, this straw dispenser adds a fun retro look to your tabletop.”

Wait, there’s more! This back-in-the-day piece costing $12.99 comes with 50 straws!

Plastic straws.

So what’s today’s lesson, girls and boys? Left, right, or up the middle, there’s always money to be made.



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