Tuesday, August 4, 2020

MyTube


My ten-year-old neighbor’s mouth agape, eyes widened, really said it all. “You have a Youtube channel?”

“Well, no, not really. Just making videos for my parents.”

She, eye roll.

“So, well, yes, I guess I do.” Cue weak chuckle.

Should I feel chastened, have I violated societal norms, are there going to be repercussions? Will I be…cancelled?

Hey, it’s not like I haven’t made a splash or two in the social media lagoon. I’ve had a blog—have had multiple blogs—for years. And years.

Anonymous: You have a blog?

Sigh.

The videos are just walks around the yard so my parents can keep up with what’s going on out back. They use to sit out on the patio—in matching rocking chairs no less—and I would show them what was growing, or not.

A friend of mine suggested I post the videos on Facebook. Really, are folks that desperate for diversion? I guess there could be some entertainment value as I crab about, even backwards at times, trying to avoid catching the corners of raised beds or small plants.

Could go live.

Cheech27397: Bet he trips over the new hydrangea.

Okay, could be, uh, fun. Sort of. Not exactly Skylla and Kharybdis out there.

Another friend proposed I do something more, and this is his word, poetic.
Poetic? Like declaim Ogden Nash’s “The Germ” as the camera pans the yard?
Maybe drag the old lectern out to the patio and give a soul-rocking reading of Tennyson’s “Ulysses”. I’m sure the mockingbirds would be unmoved. And the bees much too busy to be swayed.

Perhaps something a bit more extempore. A niece and some of her offspring have floated the notion of Observations with Uncle Scott. Might squelch the idea—for the good of the public—do we still consider the public good?

Former student: Good one, Mr. K.

As for the verite of these most minor of cinematic endeavors, all are shot before breakfast and after only a few phrases mumbled to my dog. Ultrahyper-keeping-it-super-real.

Might set up a Patreon account. First ever where the artiste is paid to just stop now.




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