North Dakota, South Dakota, and Montana each lose one senator. Florida, Texas, and California are now with three each.
Vladimir Putin is dead.
All Starbucks locations around the world are staffed by robots. Except in Greenland.
Benjamin Netanyahu is dead.
The Seoul Stingers win the International American Football League's Super Bowl.
The last public library in US shuts down in Concord, Massachusetts.
Sixty-four hurricanes strike the Gulf Coast. Florida moves its state capital northward to Macon. Macon, Georgia. Georgia files for an injunction against the move with the US Supreme Court.
Joe Biden is dead.
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt declares run for President of the United States.
Alabama, Georgia, Michigan, and Texas are the semi-finalists for college football championship.
Ebrahim Raisi is dead.
Walmart locates all of its warehouses to Nebraska.
The average plumber makes $225,000 annually. The average teacher, $42,000.
Tourists returning from Mars bemoan 30-minute storm delay before liftoff.
Kim Jong Un is dead. However, he is still supreme leader of North Korea.
Taylor Swift releases a whispered version of her debut album from 2006. Sales will be brisk.
Jeff Bezos applies for UN recognition of his 1,600' yacht, Lucy as a nation-state. Also claims he has the body of a 13-year-old.
Donald Trump is dead.
All Italian men under 45 live at home with their mothers.
Xi Jinping is dead.
Amazon now employs 34% of the world's workforce.
Nearly 86% of first year college students are female.
China will build only 6 coal-fired power plants this year.
Unemployment in Louisiana hits 47%. Governor declares state a natural disaster area.
Ronnie Wood is dead, and I might not be feeling so hot myself.
Legendary
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