I think I may be clinically depressed.
Now that I really think of it, I am.
Now that's some cogito going on right there.
Well, pretty sure.
I've got a pretty bad case of the zeitgeist up the keister.
Not to get all verklempty about it, but the modern world sucks in such a super huge way that I can hardly stand not puking nearly every moment of the day.
Now that's some poetry, right there. All imagey and stuff.
Saw that a local concrete driveway winding up to a bloated manse was an award-winning concrete driveway. Hope the designer got a Golden Paver. Proud as punch to have that on the mantle, don't you know it. I know it.
The thing about my depression is I don't really want to talk about it.
Jilly says Ham, Ham, tell me what's wrong. What's wrong, Ham? Tell me. Tell me. Please. Oh, Ham, please tell me. Don't you love me anymore. The car windows aren't working right. Ham? Tell me, Ham.
I could start there.
Lila comes home from the U--the U. The U. The U this, the U that. She says Daddy I don't think Renaissance Art is right for me. Dance could be something I might want to consider. Daddy are you listening. Maybe I should take another year off. Daddy? Daddy? Daddy? I need a new phone. Is something wrong, Daddy?
Or start there.
Listened to a pitch today for 12-grain bread. Khorasan wheat. Must I give this my most complete and immediate attention? Must I? What. The. Hell.
Bloody hell.
My undivided attention. Do not pass Go. Do not divide my attention.
Davy wants to go to India. Some place in the mountains. Dad, he says, I am jacked about this trip. Jacked. Need new boots, hiking equipment, Dad. Dad? Dad, I'm serious. This trip will change my life. It may change all our lives. Dad? What's bothering you, Dad? Jacked, Dad. I need a new phone. I am so jacked.
Maybe I should change all our lives.
Would it kill anyone to shut the hell up. Just for a few minutes out of the day? Am I asking too much?
Jeez, I've got issues.
Lyman 2024
