Monday, January 16, 2023

Above My Pay Grade

"What do you make of a place like North Korea?" 

Say what? Rarely am I asked to opine on much of anything these days much less a matter with international ramifications of the most dangerous kind. 

I blurted something along the lines of being unable to understand that level of domination. How does that work, millions subjugated to that degree.

Then I trot out my pharaoh analogy. Don't you know there were kids playing with the young-pharaoh-to-be along the Nile who were smarter, faster, stronger, and then, hold on a minute, suddenly he's a god? Why? How?

(With the understanding no analogy is perfect, that one even less so.)

But I am warming to the task.

With nearly 8 billion individuals in the world, there's got to be a Kim Jong-un. With around 200 countries in the world, there's got to be a Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

But, no, I don't understand it. It's like with Putin. Do Russian 18 to 30-year-olds really want to die in Ukraine? How is it individuals--adults mostly I would think--are pulling triggers or pushing buttons that kill children, women, and men? Because they are told to do so?

On a certain level I think it all the psychology of the possible given the range of human behavior in the past and still possible now.

And we're talking 8 billion potentials out there.

I remember listening to an assistant principal fussing about the number of tardy referrals--around 90 as I recall--on his desk. Better tardies than fights I suggested. And with over 3000 students changing classes 5 times a day, well 90 didn't seem an epidemic. 

He, for lack of a more perfect word, grunted. So I tried the 3% of our students having a bad day gambit. That, too, would be 90 kids grinding axes to varying degrees.

That line of thought was No Sale.

Fortunately lunch arrived, and so my blather tabled.



 

Sunday, January 8, 2023

Pants on Fire

Coincidentally, just as I am reconsidering re-igniting my senatorial campaign, a friend of mine--of the half-a-century sort--suggests I write my memoir. With nary a concern on his part, he urges I revisit the highs, the lows, the inbetweens.  

Incidentally, my campaign manager, who is yet to be contacted much less hired, would certainly grab a hold of potential highlights for flyers, tweets, IG and Facebook posts, and email blasts.

I suppose I could begin at an early age as most folks do. However....

Most incredibly, George called last week to get my go ahead for Carolina Kaple and the Ruins of Dzibilchaltun. Of course the details are only loosely based on my experiences while visiting a completely different continent. However....

While I am inclined to zip through my schooling, one anecdote seems worth noting. Actually, a simple clerical error led me to a doctorate in entomology rather than etymology. In any case, was not Oxford, oh no indeed sir or madam, rather Cambridge granted the degree.

Pursuant to the publication of my 12th work of nonfiction, I was charged by the American Academy of Arts and Letters to write Walt Whitman and the American Vagabond Tradition based on an essay written my junior year in high school. I am not altogether certain, but I suspect it will be shortlisted for a Pulitzer in 2024.

Most people--or those who know me well--would be surprised, even gaga, at the fact I have submitted an analysis of the Goldbach Conjecture (his original conjecture) that states "at least it seems that every number that is greater than 2 is the sum of 3 primes" so even a 5-year-old would understand. That theory remains untested. However....

One confusion, financially-speaking, is easily set aright. The $1.5 million dollars given to the Coral Reef Alliance is not the largest donation I have made to date. These funds came by way of selling my Long John Silvers franchise.

And, yes, I did turn down a stint as guest-host for The Daily Show. However, not without suggesting my replacement. Guess you're welcome, Al Franken.

Surely, there is more, much more. So until the pudding is stirred....




Monday, January 2, 2023

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